boys who can pull off facial hair are hot
i think you’re supposed to use a razor
USA wins ONE game and every white boy is outside playing soccer in flip flops, holding a bud light.
does anyone have like ten thousand dollars they don’t want
i would sit in my underwear with you at 2am
take four years of spanish so you can speak spanish at a 3 year old level
I’m trying to figure out when “oh, it’s midnight” turned into “oh, it’s only midnight”
What if prisons let prisoners take their own mug shots?
my dad was taking me driving and after i parked i got out and checked then shouted “IM STRAIGHT-well at least my parking job is” and my dad slams his hand onto the dashboard and goes “YOU COULDNT HAVE WAITED UNTIL COLLEGE TO MAKE THAT JOKE NOW I OWE YOUR MOM TEN BUCKS I DIDNT THINK YOU WOULD ADMIT IT YET” so thats the story of how my parents have been betting on when id come out
my brother left his drink at taco bell and was like “where’s my baja blast?” and my sister just quietly whispers “in the baja past”